Rich men, rich women…

…and how to bag one, respectively. Useful advice for you, Monkey?Although women after a rich man might find the advice worrying – you’ll have to be willing to be objectified and commodified, it seems. The author notes that:

• ‘Having sold yourself as a Ferrari [to bag the rich bloke], you have to maintain yourself like one. There is a reason Ferrari issues a new model every few years or so (a shiny knob here; a new electrical gadget there; that crucial extra iota of acceleration): it appeals to their core client, and there is never a shortage of beautiful, witty young women coming on to the market.’

But it’s not all bad news for the women: if you don’t manage to upgrade yourself sufficiently often, and find yourself replaced with a newer model, you might nonetheless do well out of a divorce settlement. Finding yourself laden with riches and without a man, the advice on offer about dating millionaire women will then come in handy, no doubt:

• ‘What a clever, professional woman wants in a long-term partner is an equally clever, professional man.  It doesn’t matter if she makes all the money; as long as he has a brain – and uses it. So while the tennis coach or yoga teacher may suffice for a flirtation, he will not cut the mustard around the dinner table.’

Hang on a minute: how come women who date rich men have to be ‘like Ferrari’s’, but men who date rich women have to be ‘more substantial’?A classic example of gendered stereotyping and norm-perpetuating tosh, that does injustice to men and women. Still interested? See news of a training course on how to get a millionaire. Key strategy:’Your favourite words and phrases [should be] … “Yes,” and “I can be whatever you want me to be”.’Moreover women who take this course will 

• ‘learn how to wiggle their hips, kneel in a posture of mock subjugation and eat a banana suggestively by practising in front of a mirror – all with a view to some day applying those techniques to the anatomy of a very successful man’.

Any subscribers? erm…