From the AP’s article “Men Who do More Housework Get More Sex”
American men still don’t pull their weight when it comes to housework and child care, but collectively they’re not the slackers they used to be. The average dad has gradually been getting better about picking himself up off the sofa and pitching in, according to a new report in which a psychologist suggests the payoff for doing more chores could be more sex.
The article reports on what sounds like an all-around good trend: more equitable division of household labour and more sex. What’s not to like? Well, one thing not to like is the assumption that sex is a reward for men– a thing that women give to them in exchange for labour. Has it ever occurred to the article’s author or the headline writer that sex might be, well, desired by both partners? Or that if it’s happening and it *isn’t* desired by both partners that’s something *bad*? (Thanks, Jender-Parents!)
And, on the flip side, there’s the assumption that the default (normative!) state for a man at home is laying on the sofa, watching his wife/girlfriend/partner do the housework. At least they didn’t talk about men `helping out around the house’.
:: wanders off, grumbling about `heteronormativity to boot’::
I think there’s also a way of looking at it that gives it a different twist.
It wasn’t totally clear what they mean by “payoff.” They might have been thinking a bit more in terms of what makes a situation pleasuarble or enjoyable enough for it to be sustained. I think that’s different because it suggests that sex might not be the goal exactly. Another example: there are health related activities that feel good; the good feeling might make it much easier to sustained without being one’s goal.
On this view, it isn’t that they do housework to get more sex, but the upping of pleasure adds to sustainability. But then here’s the kicker: what sustains the women’s engagement in the housework routine? Maybe particularly before the guys got involved and it became a more pleasant partnership? That doesn’t seem to need explaining…
They’re constantly trying to use attention-grabbing headlines for their “news” at yahoo
i agree!! women always think and treat sex like it is a reward for men. that is not fair. some of them go out of their way to get laid with their man but when they fight they start to bring that up when in reality – they want them just as bad!
It does make the wives sound like prostitutes, but I doubt it was meant like that. When people in a relationship are not helping each other out and not pulling their weight, then that hurts the relationship and builds resentment–which leads to less sex. When people are good to each other, then they are happier with each and that leads to more sex. So the sex is not payment for doing housework; it is the result of a healthy relationship which is, in part, the result of each person pulling their weight and being nice to the other. Regardless, mutually good sex is a reason for any person to behave in a way that is conducive to good relationships. So it is not necessary wrong to say sex is the natural payoff of not being an a-hole. And that can be true for both genders.
Bs. Sex is nothing more than a reward for filling accepted gender roles.