Undecided Voters

From the always superb David Sedaris:

I don’t know that it was always this way, but, for as long as I can remember, just as we move into the final weeks of the Presidential campaign the focus shifts to the undecided voters. “Who are they?” the news anchors ask. “And how might they determine the outcome of this election?”
Then you’ll see this man or woman— someone, I always think, who looks very happy to be on TV. “Well, Charlie,” they say, “I’ve gone back and forth on the issues and whatnot, but I just can’t seem to make up my mind!” Some insist that there’s very little difference between candidate A and candidate B. Others claim that they’re with A on defense and health care but are leaning toward B when it comes to the economy.
I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?
To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”
To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

Thanks, Mr Jender!

7 thoughts on “Undecided Voters

  1. Its going to be hard to keep a straight face when confronted with dinner selection on our next flight….

  2. Two of the people I work with are genuinely undecided. I see them on their lunch breaks pouring over side-by-side information about McCain and Obama.

    On the one hand, I guess I should be glad that they’re taking the time to compare the candidates and think about their selection.

    On the other hand, this campaign has gone on for TWENTY MONTHS. They seriously are STILL undecided?

  3. I guess the platter of shit with broken glass is also the vegetarian option.

    Heh, his analogy didn’t work at all for me either.

    Personally, I think this election is far less obvious than the 2004 election.. which really, really scares me. I expect to be drinking heavily on Tuesday night.

  4. There’s a really quite interesting article about the undecideds here:

    2 points: not all people are aware that they have decided, and not deciding until you have to is in some ways a good strategy.

    I also think that if you hear the McCain propaganda first, Obama might not look too good for quite some time. I was at a dinner recently with a lot of very smart academic types, and I heard a few people worried about Obama’s plans to redistribute the wealth and how it would be like Carter all over again. That’s a worry that it is hard to reason one’s way away from, I should think.

  5. has anyone here ever been asked if they are undecided and want to participate in an undecided audience or whatever?

    Anyway, I presume they don’t really vet these people very thoroughly so there is probably quite a few Joe the Plumbers in every “audience of undecided voters”.

  6. Thanks for the great info! Too Shy to Stop writer Lauren Bucci just wrote an article about websites that claim to help undecided votes. You can read the piece here.

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