‘Hook-up culture’ isn’t the problem

writes the ever-awesome Kate Harding.

From where I’m sitting, the problem that needs solving isn’t hook-up culture, but the intense pressure on girls and women to focus on getting and keeping a guy, rather than on getting and keeping whatever they want.

And along the way, she provides some excellent examples of what Langton calls ‘locutionary silencing’: girls and young women failing to say what they want, or to ask what their partners as individuals want (having read all those articles telling them what “boys/men” want). Which, by the way, also leads to some locutionary silencing of the boys/men, whose desires are assumed to be only for beer, steak and cheap sex. (Or whatever.)

3 thoughts on “‘Hook-up culture’ isn’t the problem

  1. At first I thought, duh, this is (VERY) obvious stuff, but I then remembered that Seventeen, Cosmo, and all that other good stuff still exists.

  2. I’m hot for a thick and tender steak — full of marbling. Medium to rare on the inside and extremely well-done to charred on the outer edges. It must have lots of hot but tender fat for me to suck on.

  3. Ariel Levy makes a similar point in her book “Female Chauvinist Pigs,” in the chapter on teen sexual attitudes and behavior. She includes “abstinence-based” (anti-) sex education and the pop culture messages telling young women that provoking male sexual desire. = Female Empowerment. Argues that both teach women to
    regard themselves as objects/commodities rather than desiring subjects.

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