There’s nowt so queer as folk. And there’s nothing quite as strange as the devilish rules of fashion by which us gals must abide. Somewhere, a single sartorial despot, or perhaps a committee of evil fashion geniuses, are scheming hard to devise as contrary a set of norms as possible. And they’ve really outdone themselves with the following little number. Want to look good? In fact, forget looking good – just don’t want to be laughed at? You need to do the following:
- Shave, pluck, or wax most of the hair from your groin – hairy pie is out.
- Wear the tightest of tight thongs/hot pants/jeans, made from the thinnest material you can find, preferably lycra. (No-one likes a gal in granny knickers.)
- BUT – at all costs, avoid the terrible fashion faux pas of showing the contours of your lady parts.
That’s right! Make your front bottom as smooth as a peach, wear tight, figure-skimming clothes, but make sure no-one can see its outline! You’re aiming for a groin like Barbie’s. For those of you not in the know, the dreaded lady-bit outline is known as the ‘camel’s toe’. Sporting such an item will render you the subject of ridicule. But fear not, fashionistas! The solution is simple – stick some padding down your pants, and you’re away! Puff pads can be purchased from the following sites: Camelflage – ‘the original visual privacy garment’ (apparently), and Cuchini – ‘our lips are sealed’. And just in case you’re not feeling ashamed enough yet, there’s a comedy song about camel’s toes on the Cuchini website. Watch it, feel bad about your bits, and buy some pads!!!!
Thanks to J-Bro, who claims he isn’t on a camel toe mailing list.