Parents! Remember the bad old days when you had to make sure your kids got enough exercise, ate healthy foods, and grew up to be the size and shape that’s right for them? Well, those days are now over. Now everyone can look forward to being the proud parents of a stick-thin waif of a daughter, and with very little effort. No need to hide the crisps and stock up on apples. Just buy her Maggie Goes On a Diet – aimed at six to twelve year olds – and watch your daughter shrink as she develops an unhealthy relationship with food, and an obsession with her body size. Coming next week, to a UK bookshop near you.