The Onion strikes again

But sadly, this satire likely reflects greater gender equality than reality, as unemployment benefits in the US are calculated by the wages you did earn while employed.

In a historic development for gender parity in the American workplace, recently laid-off consultant Paula Saunders, 32, is at last earning an income identical to that of her unemployed male counterparts. “Right now, I’m earning the same amount of money for the same amount of work as [former coworker] Greg [Lowell], who, just like me, started in 2004 and was laid off last week with no severance package,” a visibly proud Saunders told reporters Monday while sitting on her couch at two in the afternoon. “Finally, after years of trying to achieve equality, it’s nice to know that my gender isn’t a financial strike against me. The glass floor has been shattered.” According to company sources who wished to remain anonymous, it was no coincidence that Saunders’ employment was terminated two months after telling her bosses she was pregnant.

2 thoughts on “The Onion strikes again

  1. Also the impact is greater on women raising families on their own, now on half the previous income. There is a reason why we used to call it “unenjoyment” in my house.

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