There’s one thing this author gets wrong

There’s nothing cowardly about failing to speak up when sexually harassed.  It is extraordinary and brave when people do speak up.


It must have been my fault. It must have been something I said. Was I flirting with him? I shouldn’t have told that story. I shouldn’t have gone to his hotel room. What can I do about it? Who do I tell? I don’t have enough money for a lawyer. I don’t want to suddenly become unemployable because of something he chose to do to me. Was it that big of a deal? Did I make it up? It wasn’t an assault — it was just, like, an aggressive mirror hold. There are no laws against forcing people to look at themselves in the mirror. I’m fine. I’m tough. I’m one of the guys. It was just a weird thing that happened, and now it’s over, and I’m fine. What if I said something and he stopped me from getting another job? So I made a decision: I chose to stay quiet. I kept working with him. As I said, I’m a coward.

Read the whole thing here.

One thought on “There’s one thing this author gets wrong

  1. I completely agree with your assessment of her refraining from acting. I think it may be hard to foresee how bad things can get for the complainer, and how little may actually be accomplished by the complaints.

    There are two variants, though, which might be worth thinking about. (1) there’s at least one bad actor and you are in a position where you won’t get hurt, or not significantly hurt. (2). Other people are getting very hurt, and your confirming their experiences might be a significant help.

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