Kate Bolick, Marriage & Feminism

Kate Bolick’s article on Marriage in the Atlantic is apparently producing quite a bit of buzz. One of her central claims is that “If dating and mating is in fact a marketplace—and of course it is—today we’re contending with a new “dating gap,” where marriage-minded women are increasingly confronted with either deadbeats or players.” 

Here’s what she had to say in this interview for the Guardian, when asked what Feminism means in 2011…

“In essence, the old-school feminist principles such as equal pay, equal rights, a woman’s right to be in control of her own body and her own life – these things still hold true today for everyone. But because of the way the arguments are sometimes framed, there is a lot of misperception of what feminism is now. People say they’re not feminists but then if you ask them if they agree with equal pay they’ll say yes. I wanted to discuss these ideas in a way that was open and accessible. A lot of feminist discourse can be alienating because it is more polemic.”

I plan to read the article this evening (it’s long), and would love to hear what FP readers think.

 

Query from a Reader

I’m teaching a course on procreation and parenthood soon and need readings on whether and how parents should instill gender roles. I thought I might use the Canadian couple who are concealing their child’s gender as an entry point, but need one or two readings–by philosophers, preferably contemporary, and at least one with a feminist outlook. Any help much appreciated.

The campaign for Equal Marriage in the UK

Today’s equal marriage symposium at Cardiff Law School provided lots of useful information on the campaign for same-sex marriage in the UK. So I thought I’d share some of it.

Sue Wilkinson and Celia Kitzinger talked about the 2006 High Court case in which they tried unsuccessfully to have their Canadian marriage recognised as a marriage in UK law. Thanks to s.215 of the Civil Partnership Act 2004, their marriage is converted into a civil partnership when they step back into the UK, whether they like it or not. They now maintain an equal marriage rights website with background on their case, discussion of the legal issues and regular updates on gay marriage around the world.

They lost their case, but it forced the Court to put in writing its reasons for upholding a discriminatory provision (see especially paragraphs 116-122) – and as Robert Wintemute commented today, judgments like this don’t age well… .

Since then, a Populus poll for The Times in June 2009 suggested that 61% of the UK population agreed with the statement “Gay couples should have an equal right to get married, not just to have civil partnerships.” Stonewall has come on board (mostly). The Equal Love campaign was launched in October 2010. On 2 February 2011 eight couples lodged an application to the European Court of Human Rights challenging the fact that marriage is limited to opposite-sex couples and civil partnership is limited to same-sex couples. Things are changing around the world.

But despite a flurry of excitement in February, the UK Government Equalities Office merely says in a press release,

Ministers have also identified a desire to move towards equal civil marriage and partnerships, and will be consulting further how legislation can develop, working with all those who have an interest in the area.

Doesn’t the enthusiasm just leap off your screen?

But it’s worth keeping up the pressure. In Scotland, the Equality and Human Rights Commission and the Equality Network helped run a symposium on equal marriage, leading to a report which calls for a change in the law. The equal marriage Scotland campaign was started by the NUS and during the 2011 election campaign they’re asking Scottish politicians to pledge their support. In Wales, Stonewall is holding hustings for the May 2011 elections (for instance in Cardiff on 19 April) where candidates can be asked about their stance. And across the UK, people can write to their MPs and MEPs to ask them about their views on equal marriage and urge them to write to David Cameron in support.

France’s Constitutional Council Nixes Gay Marriage

AP Photo/Michel Spingler

Two French women who have been living together for 15 years and who have four children challenged the constitutionality of the country’s law on banning the gay marriage. The Constitutional Council has now ruled that the ban is not against the constitution.

It’s remarkable that the French in general have such a liberal attitude to matters of sexuality, yet the government proves to be conservative when it comes to “family values”.

This was not always the case. From wikipedia on the History of Same-Sex Unions:

In late medieval France, it is possible the practice of entering a legal contract of “enbrotherment” (affrèrement) provided a vehicle for civil unions between unrelated male adults who pledged to live together sharing ‘un pain, un vin, et une bourse’ – one bread, one wine, and one purse. This legal category may represent one of the earliest forms of sanctioned same-sex unions. [sic]

So much for the dark ages.

stop bullying mothers about breast vs bottle…

reads the headline on a comment article in today’s observer. I don’t really follow Barbra Ellen, so I don’t know whether hitting the nail on the head is something she regularly does, but it’s clear she’s done it this time. Do read the full article, but here are couple of particularly shiny gems…

Let’s call them the Breastfeeding Mafia – those who your tits will obey! They are all over this report on weaning, as if it were a different report attacking breastfeeding, acting all offended at this imagined trashing of the lactating prowess of their breasts. Outraged (damn the patriarchy!) at the undermining of this precious feminine gift – “perfect food” for our babies. And, one wonders, when did “what’s best for baby” turn into “no choice for Mummy”?

…

There are areas of the world where breast versus formula is a life-and-death issue – women in famine-struck areas too undernourished to produce milk; others who are better off breastfeeding, which doesn’t cost money and doesn’t need purified water. Thankfully, in the relatively cosseted west, this is not our problem, so shame on those who seek to make it one.

FYI: I won’t be reading or replying to comments on this post. So, breasties, have at it (I won’t hear you!); and the rest of you, feel free to reply on my behalf.

Our own (U.K.) gender pressure valve

“Breaking away from established roles is difficult in a country with such a gender trap, says Rob Williams”

“The index measures how much childcare and housework is being done by men and women as well as 8 other indicators including equality in the workplace and the systems for parental leave in each country. It’s a broad, comprehensive and powerful analysis of gender equality in high income economies. And we are right down there at the bottom end in 18th place. The way we deal with families and work in the UK is highly gendered and, basically, unfair. This is both good and bad news for the government.”

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/joepublic/2010/dec/02/gender-roles-index

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Any comments on this and/or the fatherhood institute?

http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/

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UK lags behind in new family fairness league table

http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/2010/uk-lags-behind-in-new-family-fairness-league-table/

Lesbian families ARE abnormal

There isn’t any child abuse. Surely we must keep such people from adopting. How can children thrive in an environment like that?

New Labour Leader has perfectly ordinary family life

More than 40% of British children are born outside marriage. But somehow it’s news when the Labour Leader is not married to his partner and that they have a child together (and another on the way). I guess I should be glad, really. In the US, nobody like this could become the Presidential candidate of either major party.

Dual-earner families and supportive states

A multinational study has just come out which evaluates the stress levels of dual earner families. The starting point for it is the worry that if multiple roles (e.g. carer and breadwinner) cause stress, perhaps states should not be trying to facilitate this. (In my experience, this is a relatively popular student criticism of feminist proposals.) The study shows, however, that the potential stress caused by multiple roles is mitigated by the support offered by supportive states (as in Scandinavia). I haven’t had time to read this in detail because I really should be writing lectures. (Thanks, K!)

Our evaluations do not lend evidence to hypotheses predicting
higher stress and role conflicts in countries where family policy design offers
extensive support to dual-earner families. Findings are more in line with
institutionalist ideas on work-family reconciliation, indicating that family policy institutions supportive of dual-earner families counterbalance stress emanating from multiple roles.

Work study

You may have heard about the study carried out by Catherine Hakim, which claims to debunk some entrenched feminist myths. Hakim claims, amongst other things, that women do not do more work than men, when both paid and unpaid work such as childcare and housework are added together. (She does state, however, that this isn’t the case for couples with young children where both partners are in full time employment. Women do tend to do more work than men in that situation.) She also claims that ‘Individualisation frees people from the influence of social class, nation, and family. Personal life goals become more important. Men and women do not only gain the freedom to choose their own biography, values and lifestyle, they are forced to make their own decisions because there are no universal certainties or collectively agreed conventions, no fixed models of the good life.’ I’m rather dubious about this claim, since it seems to ignore the fact that there are still quite rigid, gendered expectations on men and women in our society. I haven’t got time to write any more about this now – I should have started work about an hour ago (oops), but you can read more for yourselves here. A copy of the paper can also be downloaded from that site.