Even my laptop isn’t pretty enough

Apparently, anyway:

The Floral Kiss series features a unified design sensibility that has been  developed for the female consumer—from the PC’s design to accessories, such as  the mouse and case, and optional add-ons. Users can select their favorite color from among three variations: Elegant White, Feminine Pink and Luxury Brown.

It even comes with nifty scrapbooking, diary, and horoscope applications standard–golly gee!

Thanks, J-Bro!

Your daily creepy

“Hidden Mother” Photos.

You see [in the 19th century], most infants during that time were photographed with their mothers holding them. The intended picture was ultimately headed for a frame or mat, so the child would sit in the mothers lap for the photo. When the picture was taken, the mother simply was cropped out to serve as the backdrop.

Thanks, J-Bro!

Ways for women to be immodest

according to some Christian dudes who were surveyed:

Bend over to pick something up
Wear a bag with the strap across your chest
Wear a shirt with a message on the front
Allow your breasts to bounce
Wear tights with designs
Wear shirts with chest pockets
Wear jeans with decorative stitching on the rear

I never knew that I was so sexy. But I want more. I’m gonna go get me some pocket shirts, now that I know they’re hot. (Will pocket protectors make them even hotter?)

Jezebel rightly draws out a serious point from this:

This is a great deal of self-monitoring for girls. Not just when they shop, but when they get dressed, and all day as they move, and with constant re-evaluation of their clothes and how they fit. But, the rationale is, they must be vigilant and obey these rules in order to protect guys from the power of all bodies (both their own sexiness, and men’s biological response to it). Guys are burdened with lust, they insist.

Thanks, J-Bro!

Take our jobs

Something to pass on to anyone you know who is upset that illegal aliens are taking American jobs. It’s a generous offer by undocumented workers to train American citizens to do the vital jobs the undocumented workers are currently doing. It includes a job description which makes it clear just how cushy and desirable these jobs are:

*Job may include using hand tools such as knives, hoes, shovels, etc. Duties may include tilling the soil, transplanting, weeding, thinning, picking, cutting, sorting & packing of harvested produce. May set up & operate irrigation equip. Work is performed outside in all weather conditions (Summertime 90+ degree weather) & is physically demanding requiring workers to bend, stoop, lift & carry up to 50 lbs on a regular basis.

Thanks, J-Bro!

Hiding the camel’s toe

There’s nowt so queer as folk. And there’s nothing quite as strange as the devilish rules of fashion by which us gals must abide. Somewhere, a single sartorial despot, or perhaps a committee of evil fashion geniuses, are scheming hard to devise as contrary a set of norms as possible. And they’ve really outdone themselves with the following little number. Want to look good? In fact, forget looking good – just don’t want to be laughed at? You need to do the following:

  1. Shave, pluck, or wax most of the hair from your groin – hairy pie is out.
  2. Wear the tightest of tight thongs/hot pants/jeans, made from the thinnest material you can find, preferably lycra. (No-one likes a gal in granny knickers.)
  3. BUT – at all costs, avoid the terrible fashion faux pas of showing the contours of your lady parts.

That’s right! Make your front bottom as smooth as a peach, wear tight, figure-skimming clothes, but make sure no-one can see its outline! You’re aiming for a groin like Barbie’s. For those of you not in the know, the dreaded lady-bit outline is known as the ‘camel’s toe’. Sporting such an item will render you the subject of ridicule. But fear not, fashionistas! The solution is simple – stick some padding down your pants, and you’re away! Puff pads can be purchased from the following sites: Camelflage – ‘the original visual privacy garment’ (apparently), and Cuchini – ‘our lips are sealed’. And just in case you’re not feeling ashamed enough yet, there’s a comedy song about camel’s toes on the Cuchini website. Watch it, feel bad about your bits, and buy some pads!!!!

Thanks to J-Bro, who claims he isn’t on a camel toe mailing list.