What to do with valuable things when you fly?

Maybe leave them at home?

It doesn’t seem in fact as though ABC showed there’s a widespread problem, but their Facebook blog records claims about a number of cases of theft.

Another type of airport theft is supposedly also common, but one supposes the sums in the following from 1997 are not:

The FBI and Newark Airport cops are investigating the theft of more than $500,000 worth of jewelry from the wife of Houston’s mayor at an airport security checkpoint.
Elyse Lanier reported that her handbag, containing “various pieces of expensive jewelry,” was snatched from an X-ray machine conveyor belt Oct. 7, said Special Agent Ann Todd, a spokeswoman for the FBI office in Newark.
Lanier, who was on her way back to Houston with her husband, Bob, after a visit to New York City, told police she was victimized by three people as she put her handbag on the belt.
“She was distracted by a Hispanic male and then bumped into by another Hispanic male and female,” Todd said. “They pointed to an airline ticket jacket on the floor. She picked it up, and when she looked back on the belt, her bag was gone.”
Lanier immediately reported the theft. Sources in Houston put the value of the jewelry at $640,000.

The Onion strikes again

But sadly, this satire likely reflects greater gender equality than reality, as unemployment benefits in the US are calculated by the wages you did earn while employed.

In a historic development for gender parity in the American workplace, recently laid-off consultant Paula Saunders, 32, is at last earning an income identical to that of her unemployed male counterparts. “Right now, I’m earning the same amount of money for the same amount of work as [former coworker] Greg [Lowell], who, just like me, started in 2004 and was laid off last week with no severance package,” a visibly proud Saunders told reporters Monday while sitting on her couch at two in the afternoon. “Finally, after years of trying to achieve equality, it’s nice to know that my gender isn’t a financial strike against me. The glass floor has been shattered.” According to company sources who wished to remain anonymous, it was no coincidence that Saunders’ employment was terminated two months after telling her bosses she was pregnant.